I wanted to take the time out to write a little about myself because I always put it out there that whomever are reading my posts are going to get to know me to some extent. I may not say too much about myself but I want everyone who decided to read what I write, whoever decides to hit that follow button, to have an idea of who is writing all of this stuff.
I am a college graduate with a BA in Psychology. I do intend to become a psychologist, therapist, or psychiatrist one day; whichever I can afford to be for the time being. This is a joy I grew to love as I got older; figuring out why people do what they do. Along with helping those who want to get help. I have been through my amount of struggles on this Earth when I was younger and everything sucked. I lost so much of myself during those times. There are people now who are losing pieces of themselves as I type this.
But if one day, they find their way to me and I am able to help them, of course I am going to do what I can as a future mental health professional. I have been through so much that I feel this is one of the ways I can give back to as many communities as I can; by becoming a mental health professional.
On the other side, there is writing.
I have been writing for as long as I remembered picking up a pencil. I was always writing some kind of story in my big spiral notebook. I still remember that notebook even though I haven’t the slightest idea whatever happened to it. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if it got thrown away by one of my parents.
Writing is something I have always loved because it was mine and I never thought about if my writing was good or bad; I just thought of it as writing a story. As I got older, school became more demanding and trying to form some kinds of friendships became a thing. But then I started to get bullied a lot and I never even realized what was happening until I got older. Since I was never in a bullying situation, of course I did not know what to do. A bunch of my teachers at the time witnessed what was happening to me and only did so much.
I remember having one art teacher tell me to go to the principal’s office to tell her what happened and I hesitated so much. I don’t know how long it took me to gather whatever courage to actually go. I kept telling the teacher telling the principal isn’t going to make my classmates stop bullying me and I did not want to go. At the time, we all knew what would happen if we to “snitch” on anyone, we’d get bullied more and sometimes 10x worse. If I remember correctly, my art teacher at the time told me she would not let me go until I told her that I would go tell the principal what happened. I eventually said yes and I actually did go. The principal told me to tell my teacher to tell the girl who bothered me the most to go to the principal’s office and I actually did that too. I have no idea, at the time, what came across me to do such things but I did and I felt so dumb for it. My teacher told the girl who bullied me to go to the principal’s office in front of everyone. Her mistake for doing it in front of everyone. My mistake for going up to my teacher when she was in front of everyone…
One of the worst days of my life. Guaranteed top 5 worst.
Of course the next day the girl started throwing spitballs at me and kept trying to throw basketballs at me until it hit my head on separate occasions. She was a persistent bully and sadly not the only one. At the time, I did not know how to defend myself. All the anxiety that grew in me still lingers today and it in only triggered in certain situations which sucks. I do not think I have an anxiety disorder but I do get anxious at first sometimes and it goes away just like with most people.
I share my bullying stories for closure for myself and for other people who read this to know they are not alone. I was bullied for a handful of years and my current life is great and is only going to get better the older I get because I want it to. I learned over the years how to put my foot down and to stand up not only for myself but for others. I took a long time but it was growth well worth it.
Due to that happening and more, I stopped writing… It took me years to pick up a creative pencil again. I even forgot about how much I loved writing. when I found writing again I was sad at first because I forgot about one of my first loves and it was heart-aching. Every since I found it again, I have never let go since.
I have been shy for years to show ANY kinds of my work because I was afraid people would not like it and say it sucks. Even if that happens, one more person knows about my work and knows that I write.
I AM GOING TO MAKE A TON OF MISTAKES. And I can only hope those who are willing to join this journey will be understanding that some of my work is going to have grammar mistakes or plan not make sense because I am going to have two jobs over the summer so some things are going to go over my head. I apologize in advanced if some posts sound strange. It is purely due to the fact that I probably did not proofread it enough. I might proofread previous posts when I have time. So maybe no. Laughing. Out. Loud.
Those who made it to the end. Thank you. It really does mean a lot to me. You’ll probably never know how much I really do appreciate you making it to the bottom of this post. I plan to do my best here and everything I write something. Thank you for wanting to be apart of my journey…
As for how often I plan to post here, I plan to post on Sundays here as well. I have another blog which is MY OTHER BLOG. I know I posted twice yesterday but I wanted to dip my toes in the water and have something here to show that I am active.
Sundays are the days that you will be seeing my posts. If I miss a Sunday, I usually double up on the next. I hope you guys are looking forward to my suggestions…
to the future…