Blackish episode : Mother Nature

I watched one of the new episodes of ‘Black-ish” not long ago. It was the episode ‘mother nature’ where Rainbow ‘Bo’, is experiencing postpartum depression and I am in tears for probably half of the episode. I was looking straight into a mirror. I could relate to her character on such a deep level and I knew I had to write about it. I have not had a child so I have not experienced postpartum depression specifically but I have experienced depression due to high levels of stress and that shit sucked.

You want to be healthy so bad but you know mentally you are not.

I am desperate for mental health issues to become more normalized in the sense that people in our society becomes more aware to the point that anyone would recommend a trip to a doctor’s office like they do a broken foot or the common cold. I know that things would become so much easier for millions of Americans alone if mental health issues were given the attention it so rightfully deserves.

Bo kept saying she was fine anytime her husband, Dre asked if she was okay when clearly she was not okay. Her depression was known throughout their home and her children were worried. Her husband was worried and they did not know what to do to help their mother who was clearly not alright. My depression was barely known. I probably only told 3-4 people about my depression. Now more people know because I have more strength and energy to talk about it and advocate for others whenever the opportunity presents itself. I’m not even sure if my parents noticed.

But I kept thinking that this actress did her homework and for that, I am so grateful to her. We do not talk about the mothers who just gave birth enough. How is she feeling? What is she doing? How is her mental health? Besides the fact we are not talking about depression and mental health enough, imagine a mother who just gave birth and is expected to be the happiest mother in the world because she just gave birth to her child but she isn’t. Birth is so strenuous on the body no matter how much we advance in medicine; pregnancy is another human being renting out your body for 9 months.

Kids don’t always take something from their mom on their way out but for some moms, things are taken. They should not be shamed for it, they should gain treatment when they do not feel like themselves anymore after giving birth.

I found the episode to be deeply inspiration and I hope this is a topic that gets talked about more.

All the women who decided to get pregnant to have their children are special people. It is not easy to be pregnant for a portion of women and for them to do it anyway shows more credit than society gives; we should change that.

There is a lot of situations and reactions that need to change when it comes to mental health and hopefully circumstances will only improve and not go backwards. 

short announcement: I also wanted to take this time to share with those who read my blog posts, that I am changing the name of my post from ‘Suggestion Box’, to ‘Substance for the Subconscious’. I am very happy to be doing this because I feel like this is a name that is mine and that rolls of the tongue a bit. I know a lot of people might not like the ring of it but I do. It is a scary step but I can always change it again but for now, I wanna try out ‘Substance for the Subconscious’ to see how that goes.

Thank you to those who do read my blog and I hope you have been enjoying the ride. I hope to only get better and to continue to give you food for your thoughts.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what are some techniques you have been taught to help improve your mental health? I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I’d appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care ❤

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Emotional Times with Friends.

We all know that despite how perfect we think most of our friendships are, we know deep down they’re not and tough times are going to happen for whatever the reason may be. Anything could happen, just like with everything in this life, can happen to our relationships. Our words do matter when it comes to your loved ones or anyone else you have an encounter with.

I wanted to talk a little about it because I have had a few very emotional days as of late and I honestly was a bit scared of how my body may or may not react to it all. You just never know when it comes to certain situations how you body or mind may react especially if there are certain situations you just don’t handle well for whatever the person reason is; all our of our upbringings are different no matter how similar they can be.

I am the type of person that I know how to push things to the side that I do not find significant. The problem in that is if I do not come to terms with the situation first it may bottle up inside me without me realizing and can be released in other ways that may not be healthy not just for me but for those around me.

I felt emotional on those days because of the conversations I was having with certain people. I am not good when things start to escalate such as if people start getting yelling or screaming seriously. I am not good with those sorts of situations because of the family issues growing up. I have developed a little bit of anxiety over time but it has decrease the more I have being having these kinds of conversations. I know it sucks to be anxious but sometimes facing people or situations head on can help a lot for the future.

The first conversation was through a messenger but the person started off the conversation being nothing but rude including with the greeting. The person did not give me a hello or even stated that things are intense between us and we should fix things. The person opened up the conversation by stating “whatever it is that you have to say to me, tell me, here is your opportunity.” I was taken a back and couldn’t help but to feel irked because who does this person think they are to speak to someone else so rudely? Also, I find it rude to get in contact with a person you’re not that close with late at night. It already shows that the other person did things on their time and did not consider the other person’s schedule. This person contacted me at 10:30 pm, Eastern Time. Anything past 7 o’clock, and we’re not close friends is late to me.

One thing I will say is not to tolerate rude people. You get away from those sorts of people because if they are rude to you once, they will do it again. I can promise you that. Even if it doesn’t happen the next week or so, even the next year, they will be rude again and it may be worse than the first time.

I had a talk with another friend that leaves me questioning the friendship even more to the point where I do not think I can no longer call him a friend. Our friendship was starting to wilt because I thought our friendship was closer and it turned out not to be which hurt and disappointed me deeply. I know plenty of you have been through situations like this and yes, it does suck to lose a friend. The silver lining is that it leaves room to meet new people to make new and amazing friends that are healthy and does not stress you out.

Another reason I wanted to talk a little about this is because there are people out there who do not react to these sorts of situations well and that is why I want to keep talking about our emotions and our thinking processes. I am a sensitive person. In my case,  I will talk the situation for an extra day more than some other people. Although, there are people that internalize the situation, for example, without meaning to; it was the way their mind and body chose to process the situation. There are some people who generally feel that they are at fault for the entire situation whether or not it was their fault at all. That is deeply concerning to me.

Those are some reasons why I feel is it important to have these conversations about these kinds of situations to remind the person or people that yes, it is a tough time but that is exactly what it is; a tough time and it will pass. Times like these does not mean you have a hard or tough life, it means you are going through a hard and tough time. Try to remember to keep in mind that you do your best and to realize that you are human and will make mistakes.

During those times, I know where I may have been at fault in certain situations but I refuse to beat myself up over a situation(s). Other should not beat themselves up over it either because that will not solve anything for the other parties involved or you. You have to put yourself first because when no one else does who will? 

A couple tips I do have for these situations is to take a break. Take some time away from the situation to give yourself some time to process everything. It also gives all parties an opportunity to not get mad at each other and say things they may regret or hurtful out of anger. That is a common thing to happen because we’re all human but if this is a person or people you want to keep in your life, be aware of your word choice and in what tone you choose to express your words through.

Another tip is to drink water, tea, your favorite beverage that is not alcoholic and/or eat something. Stressing over the situation won’t solve it either so try drinking something. The most important thing I can suggest is to BREATH in deeply. Do not forget to control your breath! Big, big tip. It might sound funny but you would be surprised how often we literally forget to breath in and out properly. Doing this helps to clear your mind thus thinking through the situation rationally. 

When you’re going through a tough patch with your friend or whomever is important to you, the whole point is the resolve things and to reach a compromise. You want to hear each other out and figure things out together. Do not try to ‘one up’ each other and have the last word because that is not the solution either of you are looking for. That happened during a conversation with someone I do not think I can consider a friend anymore. Things got to a point where it felt like the person wanted to have the last say instead of resolving all the issues they had.

Keep in mind that you love this person or people and you want what is best for all of you.

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me how you settle disagreements with your loved ones.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care ❤