Since I made a very important post about depression and having depression, I knew I had to make a post about having and living with anxiety.
This is something that I had been wanting to write about for a long time but I never got around to it. Now that I have noticed that I have been getting more anxiety, I knew it was time to talk about it more. This is something that probably a lot of people can relate to but I get a lot more anxiety when I am dating someone.
It’s someone recurring for me and it’s something that I wish I didn’t have to deal with but it is what it is. I get triggered around men whom I am dating since there are so many things going through my mind when I am dating someone. I have had too many experiences where I think everything is okay and then it turns out that there are some issues that the guy decided to withhold from me. Another reason is how I have been previously treated so whenever my body feels it’s in similar situations, I get anxious. These are just to name a few instances where my anxiety can get triggered.
It’s one of the worst feelings in the world because most of the time the situation is not going to reoccur because every guy is different. But just the slightest thing that reminds my mind of whatever terrible event that has happened will trigger my anxiety and make me think of the worst or most irrational things that can happen between me and a guy.
Fortunately, wanting to work in the psychology field has helped me gain plenty of tools to help grow and thrive in a romantic relationship. It has also helped me a great deal to understand my anxiety better, what exactly is anxiety and what I can do to soothe my anxiety and to go back to rationalizing my thoughts.
Being and feeling anxious about something or someone sucks. Some guys would tell me that I am over-thinking things and everything is okay. But my anxiety is telling me the exact opposite and things continue to be terrible because who do I believe? My anxiety who has been there for who knows how long or a guy I’ve only been seeing for quite some time? Some may even say that our anxiety can help warn you about things that may happen. I feel that your anxiety may be telling you that something is going on that needs to be addressed which is normal. What is not okay is how our anxiety may blow things out of proportion which causes anxiety to be a trouble-maker.
I can go on and on about my anxieties but lets talk about ways to manage and to deal with our anxieties. One, if it is that bad, try looking for a therapist. This is something that is going to take some time and dedication because you may be shopping for a therapist for quite some time if you do not find one you are comfortable with on the first try but until then let’s try number two; breathing.
Whatever it is that triggered you anxiety, try to breath in deeply. The deeper you breath, the more oxygen makes its way into your brain which can have a calming effect. So when you’re anxious, try focusing on your breathing. This has helped me a bit. Another thing that has helped me is taking a bath, drinking some wine and drinking some chamomile tea; whatever tea you like, drink it. This was three; drinking something soothing or getting into a bath with all the fixens that you desire.
A fourth thing you can try is going for a walk. When I say going for a walk I mean in nature. Do not go out for a walk in a busy street somewhere like 42nd street or Harold square if you live in New York City. Try finding a park area that isn’t too crowed and listen to nature. Watch the sunset even or the sunrise if you anxiety got triggered early in the morning. If it’s late at night, try looking up at the stars. Aim for things that can soothe you because when you are anxious, you are over-thinking about anything and everything that can happen with you, something or someone.
It is important to keep your body active so that you mind is no over-thinking so much.
We’re all human and we’re so flawed that we were made to make mistakes. That is how we learn, from our mistakes.
We all get anxious about something at some point in our lives but it does us no use being and feeling anxious over things that we have no control over like other people. Everyone is going to do what they think is best for them and we can only do so much about it. It is helping no one, especially yourself, if you spend all of you time stressing and being anxious about other people or certain situations that you can’t take of this very second or even for the rest of the day.
Not that I do not know what that is like to do nothing but to stay at home, in bed, and stress about the thing you have no control over. Being in bed and feeling nothing but anxiety over the one thing you want to change but can’t. This leads to us not eating well and sleeping too much or not enough because of all the energy spent on being and feeling anxious for who knows how many hours.
I know it is incredibly difficult to put down a situation that you care so much about and can’t stop thinking about because now you are obsessing over it; you want it to be over. You do not want to move on to the next situation until you are done with the one you are currently obsessing over.
I had moments when I am stuck in bed for hours just being sad and stuck in my head, being sad about things that aren’t even an issue and it sucks; it makes me feel like a stagnant loser. incredibly low about myself that I would become so stuck and immobile.
But this is where all the fighting and the pushing comes in; the most challenging part.
We have to do our best to figure out what is making us anxious and try to mend those anxious whether it is having a talk with the person you may be anxious about or finding ways to soothe your anxiety for the mean time. Keeping your mind busy does help with the anxieties. But we have to keep fighting, we cannot continue to not eat or sleep well and let ourselves obsess over something that we can not do anything about. We also can’t let anxiety prevent from doing the things we want to do or the things we love doing for too long. We have to do our best to continue to put ourselves first and making sure our mental health is healthy. Our health comes first.
I can’t stress enough that it is more than alright to feel the way that we do because of our anxieties sometimes, it can’t be helped, we’ve experienced too much and our bodies can’t help but be on edge when it comes to certain situations. What is important is for us to catch ourselves when we’re stuck in our minds. I know that is incredibly difficult for anyone with anxiety.
Anxiety sucks, it causes us to think about problems that doesn’t exist, causes us to get stuck in our minds, we become so irrational over the smallest of things, and why? For some it’s a chemical imbalance, for others, they’re scared because they probably loved to hard and got crushed harder.
Even if the worst may occur, it is definitely not the end. What matters now is to move forward either with or without your anxieties.
Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me when people thought you were functional when you mind was too busy saving itself from itself.
Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care ❤