Dropping the ball.

I’m not sure whether or not a lot of people talk about this but maybe we should from time to time.

I’m not entirely sure yet but I think I dropped the ball when it came to my morning job. I was suppose to be there earlier in the morning than usual and unfortunately that did not happen. I actually work for two non-profit organizations currently but I am talking about the non-profit that I work for in the morning. There was a trip and I was told a large amount of staff members were needed because it is a bunch of girls going to Governor’s Island; we wouldn’t want anymore to turn up missing or whatever bad situation could occur.

Due to me not making it on time, I ended up being given the day off because I mixed up the times. I felt terrible because I currently get hourly wages which means that if I am not at work, I do not get paid. The whole point of me having two jobs this summer was to try to get more money to save up but it still isn’t enough. I have two part-time jobs and it just is not enough.

The mix up was that I thought I was suppose to be there at 10am but I was suppose to be there at 9am. Mind you, I put the correct time on my phone so I do not know why my mind looked at my phone and thought, “I’m suppose to be there at 10am.” I was devastated since I’ve never really dropped the ball like that when it came to any of my jobs. I couldn’t help but to be so pissed with myself because I was given a responsibility and I didn’t pull through. I’m disappointed with myself. I felt like I was trying but I guess I’m not trying hard enough if I can’t show up for a trip on-time.

Subconsciously, I don’t care for the job much because I know what I am capable of and that job is not putting me to do anything that I can do. I mainly just sit around with my students since I’m a teacher assistance. I took the job since I worked for the same place last summer and I did do a lot more but I taught younger students. This year, I with older girls and I guess I’m not needed much.

Due to all of this happening, I ended literally reevaluate my whole life, again. Of course we never reevaluate our lives once and that’s it, we have everything figured out.

For a little while now anyway, I keep thinking if this is something I currently want to keep doing; working with children in an after-school or summer program setting. I keep thinking no because I can do so much more and I am capable of doing so much more. I know I have a lot to offer. I just have to keep looking and honing my skills until I find a place that can offer me a livable wage.

I intended this to be pretty short because when I do feel bad about something I just write until I feel better. Writing for me is very therapeutic as well as something I want to keep doing for a long time. What I’m deeply hoping for it to make my writing more well-known. One day.

I am going to end things here for now. Please leave comments below and tell me about times when you’ve had to reevaluate your life…again. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and don’t before afraid to leave me some tweets.

I know I’m off schedule but I wanted to type my feelings out today. As I’ve mentioned before, I know someone out there must feel the same way that I do so I hope my post reassures them. I do intend to be back on schedule this week.

Smile. Try to do a good deed and until next time, Take Care ❤

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Traveling.

I wanted to take some time out to talk a little about my recent travels. My trip will be almost done by the time you are reading this and by then hopefully I have a good trip overall.

I forgot that I do not do well with traveling with family members. I am only with one and this said family member shows their emotions through getting angry or dramatic which is draining for a person like me who rather take things are they are and work from there.

Before the trip even started my family member was complaining that we were going to be late to he airport because I accidentally ordered a cab 15 minutes later than we decided and it was my first time booking a cab in advance. I got the hang of it and I highly recommend booking cabs in advance if you need to be somewhere on time and do not want to leave things up to chance.

Of course we were not late for the flight, we were really early and got there on time with plenty of time to spare. I forgot about my money because I have been so focused on other things despite still being on vacation. My said family member is the only one who can go into my savings for the meantime and I can not go alone to take out money from my savings. Apparently it was my fault instead of theirs when they went to the bank the day before and didn’t ask if I wanted anything while they were at the bank. 

Yes, I should have reminded the person but I still thought the person would have said something considering I cannot withdraw anything without their signature. Which is probably the reason why I didn’t make such a big fuss but either way it does not really matter because of technology; I can use my debit card anywhere and the currency will exchange automatically. If I really want cash, I could go to any international bank, no big deal right?

Not to this family member! 😀 They just kept finding ways to take out cash when it was clearly too late and not a big deal because I could still use my debit card. Why fuss?

Lets fast forward into the night shall we? Said relative has sleep issues, they talk in their sleep, snore, and etc. So what happens at night? I go to bed early enough to wake up for the complimentary breakfast the hotel offers which is from 8am to 9am if I’m not mistaken. But I spend hours trying to sleep and kept waking up throughout the night because my relative kept making so much noise. They were talking in their sleep, moving around too much so all you heard was the ruffling of their bed sheets along side with all of the snoring that was going on. There was no such thing as sleep for me that night. Considering all the noise congestion in this hotel, since this is smaller hotel than what I am used to, I wouldn’t be surprised if other people heard all the snores faintly. My relative would snore so loud that they’d wake themselves up throughout the night.

It was too much because I already was not feeling comfortable in this room since it is smaller than what I am use to and there is no kitchen; I can’t make my own hot meals when I am trying to have a better diet. Along with me being homesick and missing my best friends, I  wasn’t even able to come to terms with any of those feelings because of how loud my relative was despite being asleep.

Hopefully, the other nights were not as bad and I was able to get some sleep but now as much as I need. One night I got six hours of sleep so of course I woke up late. I even ended up not going out that day and just stayed at the hotel to read and write all day. Not too shabby if you ask me.

I haven’t had a day where all I did was read, write, eat, and drink water. Of course use the bathroom whenever necessary.

Either way, I stress for you all to make sure that the person you are traveling with will not make the trip unbearable, try to make the trip fun to some extent and is understanding of how much space you need.

Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me if you’ve ever been on an insufferable trip with a family member.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care ❤