I’m not sure whether or not a lot of people talk about this but maybe we should from time to time.
I’m not entirely sure yet but I think I dropped the ball when it came to my morning job. I was suppose to be there earlier in the morning than usual and unfortunately that did not happen. I actually work for two non-profit organizations currently but I am talking about the non-profit that I work for in the morning. There was a trip and I was told a large amount of staff members were needed because it is a bunch of girls going to Governor’s Island; we wouldn’t want anymore to turn up missing or whatever bad situation could occur.
Due to me not making it on time, I ended up being given the day off because I mixed up the times. I felt terrible because I currently get hourly wages which means that if I am not at work, I do not get paid. The whole point of me having two jobs this summer was to try to get more money to save up but it still isn’t enough. I have two part-time jobs and it just is not enough.
The mix up was that I thought I was suppose to be there at 10am but I was suppose to be there at 9am. Mind you, I put the correct time on my phone so I do not know why my mind looked at my phone and thought, “I’m suppose to be there at 10am.” I was devastated since I’ve never really dropped the ball like that when it came to any of my jobs. I couldn’t help but to be so pissed with myself because I was given a responsibility and I didn’t pull through. I’m disappointed with myself. I felt like I was trying but I guess I’m not trying hard enough if I can’t show up for a trip on-time.
Subconsciously, I don’t care for the job much because I know what I am capable of and that job is not putting me to do anything that I can do. I mainly just sit around with my students since I’m a teacher assistance. I took the job since I worked for the same place last summer and I did do a lot more but I taught younger students. This year, I with older girls and I guess I’m not needed much.
Due to all of this happening, I ended literally reevaluate my whole life, again. Of course we never reevaluate our lives once and that’s it, we have everything figured out.
For a little while now anyway, I keep thinking if this is something I currently want to keep doing; working with children in an after-school or summer program setting. I keep thinking no because I can do so much more and I am capable of doing so much more. I know I have a lot to offer. I just have to keep looking and honing my skills until I find a place that can offer me a livable wage.
I intended this to be pretty short because when I do feel bad about something I just write until I feel better. Writing for me is very therapeutic as well as something I want to keep doing for a long time. What I’m deeply hoping for it to make my writing more well-known. One day.
I am going to end things here for now. Please leave comments below and tell me about times when you’ve had to reevaluate your life…again. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and don’t before afraid to leave me some tweets.
I know I’m off schedule but I wanted to type my feelings out today. As I’ve mentioned before, I know someone out there must feel the same way that I do so I hope my post reassures them. I do intend to be back on schedule this week.
Smile. Try to do a good deed and until next time, Take Care ❤